You're Beautiful
by Jude Quincy
Summary: [oneshot songfic] Written with the song You're Beautiful by James Blunt. R&R, please. Tom's PoV.


A/N - Hi, there! This has taken me two weeks to do. I've been writing and re-writing, and I haven't been super happy with it. But I guess this is as good as it's gonna get. So I'd really appreciate feedback. Thanks!

Quick note: I didn't remember what Don's last name was (if they even said it). If you know, feel free to let me know and I'll change it! Thanks!

-JQ-

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**You're Beautiful**

+one-shot+

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It's been six years. Six long years since I've spoken to you. Well, six years, two days, seventeen hours, and four minutes. But who's counting?

My life is brilliant

When I left for Montana, I stayed for a year. It cleared my head amazingly and I was ready to go home. But when I got there, nothing was how I remembered it.

She was the first thing I looked for when I walked in the doors. But I will never forget the words whispered to me in the deserted hallway.

"She's gone."

My eyes widened and Kwest nodded sadly. "Sorry, man. She hasn't been here in almost a year."

My heart sank with realization. _This is my fault_. "Where is she?"

Kwest shrugged. "I don't know. No one knows. No one's heard from her in months."

I collapsed against the wall, worry and guilt filling me. This couldn't be happening. Not when I'd finally gotten everything figured out.

I hadn't really expected her to wait for me. I'd even half-expected her to be with someone--Andrews, Speiderman, someone new. But what I had expected was for her to miss me. At least a little bit. And I certainly hadn't expected her to go MIA for months.

I glanced in the open door of Studio C and noticed an old poster from her first CD. Memories flooded my heart.

The first day I saw her in G Major. Our first song. Our first kiss. The first time I pushed her away. The first time we sang together in public. The first time I saw her after her tour. Our second kiss. What would have been our first date. Her face as I sped away--the biggest mistake of my life.

My life is brilliant  
My love is pure  
I saw an angel  
Of that I'm sure

I left that day and started my search for her. I vowed to never give up--not until I saw her again. But Kwest was right. No one had heard from her in months. Not her parents. Not Sadie. Not Speiderman. Not Shay. Not even Andrews.

But I was not ready to give up. Not until I saw her. Because she was the one thing that had kept me sane in Montana. And the one thing that brought me back.

And that's when it hit me. Was she out there looking for me? Like I was looking for her?

I knew it was a long-shot. A self-centered long-shot. But I knew her. And I knew how stubborn and reckless she could be when she was following her heart. And deep down, that's what I hoped she was doing.

So, after a year of searching for her in Canada, I headed for the train station. And the fates were with me.

Or so I thought.

While I was waiting for my train in Toronto, I saw her. For the first time in two years, I had finally laid eyes on her.

Of all the things that had changed since I'd left, she was the one thing that hadn't. She was sitting alone on the stone steps across the station, a notebook and pen in hand. My heart raced at the sight of her as I took a couple shaky steps toward her.

As if she knew I was watching her, she glanced up, a smile forming on her delicate mouth. We locked eyes and strangers could feel the electricity stretching across the platform.

But my heart fell in seconds. The electricity broke and her eyes left mine. That feeling of completeness faded quickly as a man called out her name. Before I could comprehend what was happening, he threw his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. She smiled at him.

Ironically, it was that smile that restored my hope. But not for the reasons her smile normally did. It was because that smile was different. It wasn't as bright as usual. It wasn't as wide or as real.

And more importantly, it wasn't the smile she'd given me moments earlier.

She smiled at me on the subway  
She was with another man  
But I won't lose no sleep at night  
'Cause I've got a plan

As I watched her walk away with that guy, a strange feeling rose in me. It wasn't anger or sadness. It wasn't jealousy. It was a feeling of peace. It was the same feeling I got when we would write songs together. When she'd strum her guitar with an unbelievable passion. When I'd hear her sing--the voice of an angel--and know she was singing for me, _about_ me.

Getting on the train and following her had no purpose anymore. I knew she was safe and content with her life.

And for me, that was enough.

But seeing her only reminded me of everything I had chosen to leave. Her clear blue eyes, wide and sparkling with mischief. Her blonde hair tangled around her small face. Her pouting mouth with its magnificent smile. Her long neck, clad in silver. Her womanly curves and her elegant legs. Her graceful hands, with her willowy fingers.

I had almost forgotten her incredible beauty. Almost.

You're beautiful  
You're beautiful  
You're beautiful  
It's true

A few months later, Lady Luck was with me again. I had been avoiding G Major like the plague. Everything about the place reminded me of her. I would have been completely happy never going back there again.

I kept in touch with Kwest, but no one else. I settled down in my old apartment and just kept to myself. That was, until I got an invitation to a party at G Major. I was ready to turn it down, but Kwest told me if I didn't go, he was going to track me down and kick my ass.

So, there I was, at the party, glass of red wine in hand. I had never seen so many people stuffed inside G Major's walls. It was unbelievable. It was like Darius had invited every artist that ever recorded there. The music was loud. The food was alright. And I might have even been half-enjoying myself. Not to mention that I'd staked out my spot at the bar.

Then I saw her.

She was standing at the top of the staircase, a wide grin on her face. Her dress was a thin black fabric and her hair was swept up on the top of her head. Just the sight of her took my breath away.

She made her way down the stairs and looked around, waving at people she recognized. But her eyes never met mine.

I saw your face in a crowded place  
And I don't know what to do  
'Cause I'll never be with you

My spirits rose just watching her smile. She had amazing poise. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to watch her entrance.

Everything I'd ever loved about her came back to me in an instant. I hated to admit it, but I missed seeing her all the time. Something had been missing in my life lately, and seeing her just reminded me of what it was.

But like everything between the two of us, the whirlwind carried me away. The same guy I had seen her with at the train station months ago was suddenly at her side. Her face lit up at the sight of him and my stomach sunk. He leaned over and kissed her square on the lips, whispering something in her ear. She giggled and nodded at him. He smirked at her and strolled away.

That's when she looked over at the bar and spotted me. She cocked her head to the side and smiled sadly. I raised my glass to her and shook my head, before walking away.

I had known going would turn into a mistake.

Yeah, she caught my eye  
As she walked on by  
She could see from my face that I was  
Flying high

After that night, I never wanted to see anyone again. So I went to a small village outside of Montreal and rented a cottage. I didn't even say goodbye. Not even to Kwest. I just got in my Viper and left. Hey, that's what I'm best at.

That cottage quickly became home. I went out and bought some recording equipment and set up my own private studio. I wrote song after song, hoping it would help me forget her. But I hadn't spoken to her in almost two years. It was going to take more than a couple of songs to get over her.

Before, when I first saw her and that guy, I still had a hope. She didn't seem to really love him. The look in her eyes wasn't the same look she had given me. But at the party? Something was different. I don't know if it was the look she gave me this time. Or the look she gave him. But something was different.

And I knew enough to put her--and every memory we shared--behind us. It was hard. And I wasn't sure if it was possible. But it was something I knew I had to do.

And I don't think that I'll see her again  
But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end  
You're beautiful, you're beautifulYou're beautiful, it's true

Everything was going fine. I had a routine I had fallen into. Every morning I would wake up and take a walk around my cottage. The view was beautiful, and there was always something new to see. Then I would work all day in the studio--writing, recording, mixing. At night, I'd go outside and watch the stars before heading off to bed.

Everything was going fine for me. Not perfect, but alright.

I'd get calls and text messages and e-mails daily from Kwest and other people at G Major, but I'd never answer or call back. Everyone and everything that wasn't part of my daily routine just made me think of her and that wasn't okay yet.

About a year and a half after I escaped, I got a message on my cell phone. Something about Kwest's voice made worry rise up in me.

"I know you're avoiding all of us, man, but I need to talk to you. A-SAP. Call me. Please."

Something in his tone set off a warning in me. Something was off. So I picked up my phone for the first time in years and dialed his cell phone. He answered on the first ring.

I tried to sound as normal as possible. "What's up, Kwest? You sounded weird on the phone."

"She's recording again, man," he said, bluntly.

"She's...recording?" My throat went dry and my mind went blank. She hadn't recorded anything since I'd left for Montana. Did this mean she was finally over me?

"Yeah. She's got her first gig in three years tomorrow night."

"Wow..." I ran my hands through my hair. This was big. "Where is it?"

"Vinyl Palace." I laughed to myself.

"How appropriate," I commented.

"That's what I said." Kwest chuckled and it made me smile. A comfortable silence settled between us and for the first time in months, I almost wished I was back home. "Hey, man? We miss you here."

"Yeah..."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Count on it." I hung up the phone and collapsed on my bed.

This was too much. I was going to be seeing her again. It seemed like a dream. Nothing seemed real anymore, though, if I thought about it. Nothing had seemed real in a very long time.

The next night, however, I found myself standing at the back of the Vinyl Palace, waiting for her to start her set on stage. The place was packed, everyone hoping she would make her big debut soon. Sure enough, minutes later, her soft voice echoed from the speakers.

"How's everyone?" A loud scream erupted from the crowd and she smiled like she knew each and everyone of them. She had an amazing presence. "Well, as most of you know, this is my first show in a few years. So we're gonna start off with some oldies and then let you hear some new stuff, okay?"

The crowd was almost drowned out as her voice drifted through the horde of people. Watching her up on stage, something in me clicked.

She was happy. Not just content. Not just okay. She looked happy. Really happy.

I saw your face in a crowded place  
And I don't know what to do  
'Cause I'll never be with you  
You're beautiful, you're beautiful  
You're beautiful, it's true

After that night, I had resigned myself to a life without her. I had been trying to do it for years. But deep down, I wasn't really sure that's what I wanted. But I hadn't seen her that happy in a long time.

And she deserved it.

She finally seemed like she was over me. And with that kept in mind, I was sure I could get over her. Eventually.

So, it was back to my routine. And it worked for three more years. But that all changed when I went to my mailbox one afternoon.

Kwest had sent me a letter in the mail. I hadn't spoken to him in three years--ever since the night of her comeback concert. And to tell the truth, I wasn't sure I'd ever speak to him again. But to my surprise, I was holding an envelope with his name in the return address.

I opened it quickly and pulled out the contents. There was a single piece of paper and another sealed envelope inside. I unfolded the paper and deciphered his scratchy handwriting.

_Tom,  
This came for you about a week ago at G Major. I debated whether or not to send it, but I figured it was up to you whether or not you wanted to go._

_So, just sit down before you read it. And good luck._

_Call me sometime. I miss you, man.  
Your friend,  
Kwest_

Reading his note brought tears to my eyes. The entire time I was locked up in my cottage, I had shut out the one person who had been there for me. I had been so caught up in my own drama that I had forgotten about everyone else. I was going to fix that. I had to.

Setting down his letter, I glanced at the other envelope. My name was embroidered in fancy silver printing on the front. I took my friend's advice and sat on my couch.

Worry was starting to build up inside me. The anxiety was becoming too much. I tore it open and pulled everything out, setting them on my coffee table.

There was a pearly-white invitation. It was bordered in lace and had the same fancy silver printing on it. A smaller envelope made from the same paper accompanied it. I scanned the invitation and with each word, my eyes widened even more.

_Stuart Harrison and Victoria Masterson  
__cordially invite you to  
__the exchanging of vows between  
__Jude Harrison and Jack Schwartz_

There must be an angel with a smile on her face  
When she thought up that I should be with you

So now I'm standing here, hidden by the bushes, flute of champagne in hand, watching you glide down the aisle. Everything looks perfect. There are lilies and lace everywhere. Of course it's all outside. It's exactly how you always dreamed it would be.

Except one little thing is wrong with this picture. I'm not the one in the tux waiting impatiently for you at the altar. I'm the one looking shady in the shrubbery wishing I was in a tux waiting impatiently for you at the altar.

But it's time to face the truth

You're holding his hand and your eyes are glued to his. I'm beginning to think I was wrong about you two. Your smile is different with him. It's pure. And it's happy.

I guess, with me, your smile always held questions. _Where are you going? Are you thinking about me? What's going on with us? Do you love me?_

It's not that way with him. You can tell. There are no questions.

And it took me six years, but I think I finally get it. We did have something. Something special. But it could never have been enough. Even though we loved each other, love just wasn't enough. Not for us. You needed this. Whatever this Jack Schwartz guy is giving you.

So, now, I do the only thing left to do. I raise my flute and finish my champagne. Then I walk away. And as I make my way over to my Viper, your soft voice drifts over to me. And it's the last thing I hear you say. Probably for the rest of my life.

"I do."

I will never be with you

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Okay! So, did you like it? Leave me feedback! This is the longest one-shot I think I've ever written! heh. And it's my first one in Tom's PoV. So I'd really appreciate some feedback!


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